Disney Taught me a lesson

Disney taught me a lesson.

In March it will be 15 years since we had a family trip to Disney Paris.

So what was the lesson?

My kids are too nice.

I'm watching them.  In the queue patiently waiting to get autographs from the characters.
I see them getting pushed.  Others skipping the queue and forcing their way in.  There is shoving and elbows, assisted by other parents.

Over 4 days my anger is rising at what I see as unkindness, rudeness and cheating.  My inner child is silently yelling.  "This is not fair".  "Wait your turn".

By day 4, I'm telling my children to push back.  Standing nearby, wolf mother mode.  All for a signature...from a human in a cool costume.

15 years later.
What I know now.

My parents are nice.

I am nice.

My kids are nice.

I was taught.
Be nice.  Be kind.  Share.  By my parents.

I passed this on without a moment of question.  Invisible rules controlling my automatic behaviours.

And now.

I am much clearer on boundaries and holding my ground.  Taking up my space.  Not perfect...and getting better.

The Book that helped me see this.
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.  The specific pages were about "The Book of Law". (pg9)
The unconscious rule book we are gifted at birth.  I wrote the rules down and had 4 sides of flipchart!  This was how I lived my life.  This was what I had unintentionally passed to my children.  This automatic belief system had been in power.  I had never been aware of it - until that moment.

I had little to no skills in how to handle conflict, difficult situations, bullies, pushy signature hunting parents and children.

So-

I can be nice - provided that is reciprocated.
I can be kind - provided that my needs are being met too.
I can share - provided that there is mutuality and respect.

I don't have to give myself away and become invisible.

I wish I'd known then what I know now.
In a way, I never allowed myself to feel it enough when it happened to me.  I probably didn't know how.
But, boy did I feel it when it was happening to my children!

Some experiments for you:-

What are your familiar family rules?

Try writing them down and see how they show up and inform/ control / guide you each day.

Do you say Yes? Would you like to say no? Which unvoiced rules might you be following?

The Four Agreements is available on Audible. - known as the practical guide to Personal Freedom.

Point of Light

Discovery ~ Growth ~ Freedom

Awaken Awareness